This practice serves as a mindful tool to uncover how emotional energy flows — or gets blocked — between two people sharing a life.
Unlike a home energy audit that measures electricity usage, a couple’s energy audit focuses on the flow of emotional support, communication patterns, shared responsibilities, and mutual fulfillment.
This process invites curiosity over criticism, and connection over conflict.
Choose a moment when neither of you is rushed, stressed, or preoccupied — a time when your minds are soft and your hearts are ready.
Your environment should invite openness, not obligation.
Begin by discussing each person’s current emotional state.
Pose questions such as: What lately leaves you feeling unseen or unheard? When do you feel most alive in our time together? What small moments make you feel truly held?.
Encourage vulnerability by sharing your own feelings first.
This sets a tone of trust and Medium Den haag mutual respect.
Next, examine how responsibilities are divided.
What’s not said today becomes a wall tomorrow.
Use a simple checklist to map out daily, weekly, and monthly tasks and discuss whether each person feels their contribution is seen and appreciated.
Look beyond the words — pay attention to the silence, the tone, the avoidance.
Are conversations dominated by one person, or do you both feel heard?.
These are energy-draining habits that erode intimacy over time.
Replace them with active listening techniques, such as paraphrasing what your partner says before responding, and expressing your feelings using I statements instead of you accusations.
Are you physically together but emotionally miles apart?.
Review your weekly schedule.
Rituals like morning coffee together or a weekly date night can replenish emotional reserves.
Do one or both of you feel constantly exhausted from work, parenting, or external stressors?.
Your fatigue isn’t yours alone — it’s shared.
Discuss your shared values and long-term goals.
Misalignment here can create subtle but persistent tension.
It’s not necessary to agree on everything, but understanding each other’s priorities and making room for compromise is essential.
Finally, identify small, actionable changes that can help restore balance.
One kind word. One shared silence. One "thank you." These are the revolutions of love.
Treat it like a seasonal ritual — a time to reset, reflect, and realign.
It breathes, it changes, it needs care.
And presence is the greatest gift you can give each other.