A couple’s energy audit offers a deep, intentional lens to examine the invisible currents of connection, support, and strain within a relationship.
Unlike a home energy audit that measures electricity usage, a couple’s energy audit focuses on the flow of emotional support, communication patterns, shared responsibilities, and mutual fulfillment.
The goal is not to assign blame but to create awareness and foster a more balanced, nurturing relationship.
Find a pause in your chaos, free from screens, notifications, and noise.
Choose a neutral, comfortable space where you can speak honestly and listen deeply.
Ask gently: How have you been feeling in the past week or month?.
Try these prompts: Where do you feel the heaviest weight in our partnership? And where do you feel the lightest, most free?.
Encourage vulnerability by sharing your own feelings first.
This sets a tone of trust and mutual respect.
Is the invisible labor — remembering birthdays, managing schedules, emotional labor — acknowledged or assumed?.
What’s not said today becomes a wall tomorrow.
Write it down — even if it’s on a napkin.
Do you regularly check in with each other beyond surface-level topics?.
Is one voice always louder, the other always quieting?.
Notice if criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling are common responses during disagreements.
Let your words build bridges, not barricades.
Consider the quality of your shared time.
Are there designated times for walks, meals, paragnost den haag or just sitting quietly side by side?.
Even five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact can rebuild what months of neglect have worn down.
Do one or both of you feel constantly exhausted from work, parenting, or external stressors?.
Your fatigue isn’t yours alone — it’s shared.
Are you moving toward the same horizon, or are you pulling in opposite directions?.
The difference between "we" and "I" can grow unnoticed until it becomes a canyon.
Harmony doesn’t demand uniformity.
Tiny acts, repeated, rebuild entire worlds.
Don’t wait for a crisis to reconnect.
Check in often.
You’re not trying to fix a broken thing — you’re tending a living relationship.
It becomes a sanctuary where two souls don’t just coexist — they thrive together.